Archway of Erised
by thesiriuswriter
Summary: Harry falls into a deep dark place after the defeat of Voldemort. He feels as if he will never find happiness and then he stumbles across an artefact that promises to change everything. But is it for the best?
1. Chapter 1

_Hi Everyone, here is a new story that i have already completed. It was sitting in my files and I thought you might like it.  
_

_Harry is in a dark, depressive state and doesn't know how to deal with his life._

_I hope you enjoy it, as usual all characters belong to J.K. Rowling_

_Sirius xoxo  
_

**The Archway of Erised.**

**Chapter 1**

Harry thought the pain would miraculously disappear when Voldemort died.

He was wrong, very wrong.

The parties and celebrations dulled the pain in those first few months but then everyone went about their business and lives were being rebuilt. Ron tried to be around as much as possible at first but Harry's depressing mood was rubbing off on him, so his visits became sporadic until they diminished.

Hermione was torn between her devotion to Harry and her duties to Ron as his girlfriend. Many arguments ensued because of where Hermione's loyalties lay, so to keep Ron happy, she began visiting Harry when Ron was working or away training. This worked fine for a few months but then Ron injured his leg in a training game and had to give up the sport he so desperately loved. All was not lost though, the Quidditch supply shop in Diagon Alley came up for sale and Ron snatched it up quicker than you could say, goodbye life savings. He was happy, which in turn made Hermione's life peaceful.

Harry decided to stay at Grimmauld's Place after he finished Hogwarts. He didn't enter the Auror program as he felt he had seen too much death in his short life. At first Harry spent his days moping around and then one day he decided to work on his new home. He used his days redecorating and after six months he had quite successfully redone the whole ground floor.

Gone were the dark and miserable colours. Now in their place stood bright reds, golds and soft creams. Harry laid new carpet and fixed up all the old furniture which matched perfectly.

As he had not seen his friends for a while, they invited themselves over for dinner tonight and was presently setting his dining room table.

The door bell rung and Harry walked to get it.

"Harry, when are you going to get an elf, every time I come here, I have to wait to be let in?"

"Hi Ginny, good to see you too." Harry smiled and moved aside for his old girlfriend and his mate Neville.

Ginny and Harry didn't resurrect their relationship after the war, not through any lack of effort on Ginny's part though, Harry just wasn't interested. Ginny moved on and started a relationship with Neville and had been quite happy with him ever since.

Harry took Ginny's coat and Neville had his off and followed Harry into the side room where he set up a large walk in closet.

"So Harry, how are you?" Neville was still the kind and gentle man he had always been. Harry knew when Neville asked how he was, he actually meant it.

"I'm getting there Nev, thanks for asking mate." Neville patted Harry on the shoulder and followed him back out to where Ginny was standing in the hallway admiring the paintings.

"Harry, show us around before everyone comes?" Just as Ginny finished, the door beckoned Harry again.

He walked over to open the door and found Ron, Luna, Fred and George standing in the doorway.

"Hey Harry.." Fred started.

"...how are you?" George finished.

"Nice place you have here mate, looks nothing like the original." Both the boys finished in unison.

Harry shook hands with the twins but couldn't help peaking over their shoulders to see if she was here.

"Hello Harry, you know you have Nargle's in your garden?" Only Luna could be Luna. She was certainly a one in a million. At that moment Ron shoved past and gave Harry a one armed hug and threw off his coat and went to kiss his sister.

"She will be here, Harry." Harry looked at Luna and raised one eyebrow. He knew there was no point in denying anything to her, she seemed to know things that other people didn't.

Harry closed the door and after taking coats and jackets, he took everyone on a tour of the ground floor. He kept glancing back at the door but when he was sprung by Ron, he thought it best to stop checking.

"Hey Ron, where's your girlfriend? Giving us the brush off is she?" George stated.

"Nah, she's working like always. You think she would take some time off, but NOOOO of course not. Oh well I thought she would take time off for you Harry, seems like your the same as the rest of us." Ron laughed sarcastically at his own insensitive joke. Fred and George quickly picked up the conversation and continued asking Harry about some old furniture he had acquired.

"So Harry, anything to drink mate?" George asked.

"Yes sure, I will grab some drinks, keep going down the hallway and to the left is the library. I'll bring the drinks in there." Harry walked into the kitchen and put his hands on the counter and lowered his head in between in arms. He took some deep breathes and hoped he would be able to survive the evening.

Ron used to be his best friend, but he used that term loosely now. Ever since Ron started dating her, he seemed to be gloating constantly. Harry had never given Ron any reason to suspect his feelings for Hermione, but then it was sort of obvious. If he kept watching the door for her, Ron would start all over again.

Harry knew there were plenty of arguments in the beginning of their relationship about where Harry stood. Hermione had turned up in tears many times and the cause of it was always Ron. Ron suspected that Harry had feelings for Hermione but he was wrong. Very wrong. Harry didn't just have feelings for her, he was hopelessly, completely and absolutely in love with her. It was the kind of love that was consuming and desperate. Harry lived for each second he could see her and he thrived on her touch and the sound of her laugh. He knew it was unhealthy but he couldn't stop any more.

Harry made a fist with his hand and punched the counter top and let out a groan.

"So what could possibly have my best friend so frustrated?" Her voice was angelic and sweet and Harry spun around to see his angel standing there. She was dressed like she had just finished her shift at St Mungo's, which she probably did. Her hair was flying out of its bun and a few stragglers were caressing her throat. Maybe it was the light from the hallway or maybe she was just a gift from heaven, but the glow of light around her made him want her even more. He composed himself and walked over to her. She held out her arms to him and he folded his body into her embrace.

Harry didn't want this to end but he also knew she was taken and the man in question was down his hallway at this very minute. He reluctantly let go of her and plastered a smile to his face.

"Mione, how are you?" Hermione smiled and then started chatting about work. She told him about the new people at her work place and how glad she was that her boss retired. They had a laugh about it and Harry heard footsteps in the hallway.

"Oh when did you get here?" Ron had a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Hello Ronald, I'm just helping Harry with drinks. How are you today?" Ron realised she wasn't acting like he interrupted anything so he lent forward and roughly kissed her lips. She recoiled but didn't say anything.

The eight of them finished the tour and then sat down to eat dinner. There were plenty of laughs and the twins entertained everyone with the different accidents from their shop. Ron was very possessive over Hermione and had ensured they sat as far away from Harry as possible. It was always worse when Ron had a few drinks, he couldn't hold his liquor and in turn, his tongue. Neville and Ginny felt the tension and did their best to not let anything get out of control. Luna was Luna, nothing else needed to be said, she just floated on through her conversation with Ron.

Hermione stood up and started to clear the table but Ron grabbed her hand and pulled her back down.

"What are you doing?" His tone was abrupt and rude and everyone looked at him.

"I am clearing the table Ronald, if you don't mind?" She tried to release her hand.

"I am sure Harry can do it with magic, he doesn't need you to chase after him." Hermione knew it was the alcohol talking so she decided not to push it and then Luna spoke.

"It's OK Hermione, Harry and I will do it later." Hermione looked at Luna and wondered why she was staying back with Harry, where they dating now?

After an uncomfortable silence, Ginny decided it was time to play some games. They all walked into the lounge and Ginny chose Singstar. There were quite a few boos at her choice but in the end everyone agreed, probably too afraid to go against the youngest redhead.

They had quite a few rounds and then when it was Ron and Hermione's turn, Hermione chose a love song.

It took all of Harry's resolve not to die where he stood. He watched the love of his life declare her love for another. Even though Ron was drunk, he still relished the lime light and played it up even more. It wasn't very long after that, that Harry called it a night. Luna stayed behind and helped Harry clean up as she promised. They were having a hot chocolate in the kitchen at this point when Luna decided to broach the subject.

"Harry, why don't you tell her you have feelings for her?" Harry waited in silence, that exact question mulling over in his mind.

"No, Luna, she has Ron and she seems happy. Who am I to take that away from her?" Luna looked at her friend and felt such a deep sadness for him.

"Harry, you can't go on like this, it's not healthy. Why don't you go out with me?" Harry's head shot up and looked at her serious face.

"Oh it's OK, I have no feelings for you either, but at least it will keep Ronald off your back and you never know Ronald might look twice at me."

"Luna, are you telling me you have feelings for …..RON?"

Her slightly embarrassed look and slight shrug of her shoulders told Harry the truth. He thought of how she must feel the same way he does when he sees them together.

"Luna you are truly a one in a million friend, but I can't do that, I'm sorry." Luna shrugged her shoulders and stood to say goodnight.

"Well Harry, the offer is there if you want it? I will go now before the skiddly winks come out, good night and remember my offer." Luna left and Harry had to have a little laugh.

A few months had passed since his dinner party and Harry had progressed to the next floor and all the bedrooms were redone. The four guest rooms were replicas of the different houses at Hogwarts. His room was the nicest one of all. He chose a honey coloured brown and cream with gold accents. The whole room was beautiful and he hoped one day to show her, the one whose eyes were the colours of the wall and the one whose hair colour spread throughout the room. The gold accents reminded him of her hair in the sun and the cream was the colour of her pure skin. It was a beautiful room and Harry loved spending time in it.

It had taken quite a while to finish the rooms and he was looking upstairs in the attic for a piece of furniture that he could place in the hallway downstairs. He wanted something small but intricate. He rummaged through the attic and found a small hall table, just what he was looking for. He pulled at it but it seemed to be stuck behind a huge piece of timber that was only partially exposed. Harry realised he had to do this the hard way and he started to remove all the furniture around the little table. He found quite a few pieces that really needed a good fire but the little table was still trapped. He finally reached it and the large piece of timber he saw earlier was finally clearer. It seemed to be a large archway of some sort.

He pulled it out and it stood about seven foot tall. He looked closely at the timber and saw that it had etchings around the top. The rest of it was intricately decorated but the writing looked somewhat familiar.

He grabbed the little table and took it out into the hallway. He looked back at the arch and he felt drawn to it, like it wanted him to fix it up. He took the table downstairs and used a few well placed spells to clean it up. He placed it in it's spot but was drawn back to the arch.

He used a levitating spell to take it down stairs and lent it against the wall in his bedroom. It was such a beautiful piece of furniture. He ran his hands over the patterned wood and then saw a word that he recognised immediately.

'Erised'

_As usual review if you like,_

_Sirius xoxo  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi_

_Back with the next installment of AoE. Hope you enjoy it._

_As usual all the characters belong to the wonderful J._

_Sirius xoxo_

**Chapter 2**

Harry couldn't believe it, did he have his own Mirror of Erised? He couldn't have, it wasn't a mirror for a start, so he decided to repair it and then look into it further. It took him only a few weeks to finish the arch and when it was done, it stood beautifully in his bedroom. Harry researched and researched. He found that there was only limited information on the Mirror of Erised and certainly nothing on it's brother.

Harry went to Hogwarts during the school break and Madame Pince let him go through the restricted section, since he wasn't a student any more, it was ok. He found some snippets of information but that led him to a library in France.

Harry packed a small bag and made his way to the library at Beauxbatons. Madame Maxine was happy to have such a celebrity at her school. They hosted a dinner for him and he had lots of photos snapped up. Before long it was plastered over the papers and Harry was being chased by lots of young, single French ladies.

After a month, Harry found what he wanted in a small wizarding village book shop. The information he needed to find out everything about his little project, 'The Archway of Erised'.

Harry bought the book and then returned to London.

He settled back into life in London and since he had been away for quite some time, his friends roped him into hosting dinner again.

Harry was busily cooking for his friends but his mind was elsewhere. He had started reading the book and as it was very complex and written in an ancient text, he found he had to re-read several chapters again and again. A knock at the door interrupted his train of thought and he quickly wiped his hands and went to open it. He pulled the door opened quickly and expected to see Ginny and Neville as they usually arrived early but to his surprise, it was Hermione.

"Hi Harry," she mumbled into his hair as she hugged him tightly.

"I've missed you so much."

After he got over the initial shock of her embrace, he melded into her body then after a few seconds he remembered they were still standing in the doorway, so he broke her hug and pulled her inside.

"Hermione, are you ok?" Hermione looked at him and he could tell she wanted to talk, her face was showing the lines of deep thought and Harry was worried. Unconsciously, he reached up and moved some hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. They stood in silence while Harry was tending to her and neither had noticed how close they were standing.

"Hey, you wanna talk about what's bothering you?" Harry's hand lowered down to rest on her shoulders, still holding her close but not as sensual as the previous actions.

"No Harry, but thank you, I know I can talk to you, it's just a bit hard..." she stopped and looked down. Harry waited and pulled her into his body.

She immediately hugged him and relaxed in his embrace. The only thing that could ruin this moment, happened- a knock at the door. Harry looked at her and saw an expression on her face that worried him, she looked frightened.

"Harry, I can't be found here with no-one else here, can I slip out the back and wait till you let the others in, please Harry, please?" The desperation in her voice and the sheer panic in her eyes didn't let Harry answer in any other way. He nodded and she ran to the back door, she got to the kitchen and turned back around, ran up to him and kissed his cheek then left. He waited a minute and then answered the front door.

Ginny, Neville and Ron were standing at his door but only two were sporting smiles. Harry let them in and took jackets from them and showed them into the lounge to sit. They chatted idly for a few minutes and Harry noticed Ginny and Neville were doing all the talking. Ron seemed irritated and on edge. Harry assumed it had something to do with Hermione's reaction earlier but he wasn't 100% sure. Harry took the opportunity to bring up Hermione and the silence that covered the room was intense.

_Hey Ron, is Hermione coming tonight?_ that was all he said and he was greeted with the same feeling that a dementor would bring in to a room. Even Ginny and Neville stopped dead and then Ron realised that Harry was still waiting for a response.

"Not sure, I have no idea what she does these days, hardly ever see her." Ron looked down into his butterbeer that he had helped himself too, but his bright red ears gave him away. Harry considered pushing for more information but then there was a knock on the door.

"See Ron, that's probably her already, then we can eat, whatever you're cooking Harry, smells delicious." Ginny said, attempting to lighten the mood. Harry nodded and walked, rather quickly, to the door and pulled it open quite forcefully. There she was again and he smiled. She lent into him quickly and gave him a kiss that was probably a little closer to his mouth than his cheek this time. His hand touched her arm and even though it was quick and fleeting, he could still feel her trembling.

"Hey Mione, are you ok now?" she nodded quickly and stepped back away from his body.

With a voice that was a little louder than necessary, Harry said 'Hi Hermione' as he knew the others would be listening.

The dinner was nice but tense. Everyone asked about Harry's trip and he was deliberately vague. He wanted to talk to Hermione but not necessarily everyone else. During dinner there was one point when Neville asked Hermione how work had been and it seemed to open a can of worms.

Ginny immediately kicked him under the table but it was too late, Ron had already slipped out a smart remark and then Hermione snapped and it was ten minutes before the conversation calmed down to a low rumble. From what Harry could make out, Ron complained that she was always working and now she got a promotion it meant more hours and she came back with the argument that it was her job paying the rent and of course, once the money thing came up, Ron went ballistic. Ginny took Ron into the lounge room and managed to get him to settle down and Neville, Harry and Hermione sat at the table in an awkward silence.

After they left that night Harry didn't let himself think on the argument, rather he thought about the first meeting he had with her tonight. Harry knew he couldn't allow himself to get excited or let his hopes get too high, Hermione and Ron were together and even if they did break up it's not like he could just go up and say, _Hi do you wanna go out with me now? _No that wouldn't work at all.

Harry made himself a drink and went to sit in his library, he loved this room since he made it for her. He was looking at a particularly empty space on the wall and decided his arch would fit there perfectly when he heard a slight knock to his front door. Harry stood up and walked over to answer it, he opened it to see a very nervous Hermione standing there waiting patiently to be let in. Harry said nothing but just moved aside. She walked in and waited for him to close the door. Harry waved his hand over the door and Hermione realised he was placing a complicated locking spell on the door and she felt instantly safer. He turned around and they stood staring at each other for what seemed like an hour, which was really only a minute. Harry stepped closer to her and reached his hand out for her to take and she didn't hesitate, Harry pulled her in for a hug and then he walked with her to the lounge room. She didn't speak for a while, Harry let her sit and relax.

"Harry, I don't know what to do any more, I hate being so undecided."

"What are you undecided about Mione?"

She stood up and walked around the room, she seemed frustrated.

"I don't know Harry, on one hand I worked so hard to get that promotion and I was so happy and I couldn't wait to share my news with him and he ruins it all by saying such mean things." she sat down next to Harry again and mumbled something that he didn't quite catch.

"What was that Mione?" she looked at him and shook her head.

"Thanks for everything Harry, I am sorry to barge in here so late." Hermione stood up to get her bag and Harry stood too, he grabbed her wrist before she walked out and turned her around to face him.

He lifted his hand to brush away some strands of hair that were straggling down. He brushed the side of her face with his thumb and then held her face. He leant in and just as he was about to kiss her lips, he moved slightly over to get the side of her mouth and her cheek. She had her eyes closed and when he pulled back she sighed.

"You deserve so much more Mione," Harry kissed her forehead and he could feel her shaking.

It took a few restless nights for Harry to get over that night but when he did it was back to his arch.

He moved it down to his library as it was too big for his bedroom and it didn't take too long for him to repair the arch to its former glory. The timber was perfectly restored and it stood proudly against the wall. The months had passed by and Harry felt that he had read every possible piece of information and practised the spell over and over again.

Once a person enters the archway, they enter a world where their life is the way they wanted it to be, their deepest desires have come true. Any wish or dream that the person has, will be granted to them if they whisper the incantation as they pass through the arch. As always, with something so important, there were risks. The person entering the alternate world was still quite aware of both worlds and could leave the alternate world any time, all they had to do was raise there wand and say _Vox populi _which translates to the voice of the person or their command. The alternate world would not have a different Harry, for example, so there would be no chance of Harry running into his other self because it would be 'his' fantasy world. One thing that wasn't mentioned in the book was what happened to Harry's life here when he was in his fantasy world. Harry decided he would need to check into that.

So Harry seemed all set, he sat in his chair and stared at the archway, wondering what to do.

What if something went wrong?

What if he couldn't get back?

What if he didn't want to come back?

Harry was thinking over all the different scenarios that could happen but as excited as he was, he was still nervous. He decided it was probably best not to rush into it, even though he was prepared, he felt he needed to leave a note of some sort, just in case.

He remembered buying a leather bound book in France that he was planning on giving to Hermione for Christmas, but it seemed like this would be more appropriate. He sat down and wrote details into the book, everything from finding it to repairing it, to actually using it. After all the important information was in, he wrote a letter to Hermione telling her of his deep love for her and he hoped she would find happiness in her life if anything should ever happen to him.

After another week went by, he was ready.

He stood at the doorway and raised his wand high and yelled out _Penetro dimension. _The archway began to shine, starting from the outer edges travelling up to the centre. Once it reached the middle a huge glow surrounded Harry's body and then a silky blue film covered the centre of the arch. Harry nervously reached forward to touch it to see if it felt like silk but he was rapidly pulled forward into it's depths. The feeling reminded him of a portkey tug but it was over in a few seconds.

He looked around and realised he was still in his own house.

What happened?

He looked around the library and everything was exactly as he left it. He felt such disappointment he wanted to scream but then he heard his name being called and it sounded like Hermione. He put his wand away as he didn't want to explain this just yet especially since it didn't work. He walked out into the lounge and saw Hermione standing near the window holding a drink in her hand. That was odd, she never helped herself even though he told her to so many times.

"Umm, hi Hermione, what's up?" He noticed she was shaking and probably crying too, so he rushed over to take her in his arms. She immediately turned into his embrace and hugged him tightly while she cried.

"Harry I found out some terrible news today," Hermione pulled back and Harry looked her over. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary but when his eyes travelled down to her hands, the left one was holding a diamond wedding ring. Harry gasped and Hermione looked up quickly.

"Harry, I just found out Ginny and Neville can't have children, isn't that horrible, she is devastated." Hermione leant into Harry for comfort again but this time Harry took the chance to look around the lounge room. There, across the room, holding pride and place above the fireplace, was an enormous golden framed wedding photo of him and Hermione.

He couldn't believe it, it worked, this was his alternate life.

He took a few minutes to absorb the information and then decided he had better offer support to his 'wife'.

"Mione, she is strong, she will get through this sweetie, try not to cry ok?" Harry hugged her so tightly.

"I know Harry, it was just really hard trying to be strong for her when she was clearly losing it. I mean with Ron having six kids already and the twins with their twins, there are Weasley kids everywhere." Harry was trying REALLY hard not to react to that news but he needed answers.

"Do you want to go and see Ron or Ginny?" Hermione sniffled and shook her head no,

"I just left them at the Burrow, Luna has everything under control." Harry gasped and Hermione looked at him.

"Harry are you ok, you seem to be acting a bit strange today?"

"No Mione, I am fine, sorry, just surprised by the events of the day that's all." Harry smiled a reassuring smile and Hermione nodded and then lent up to give him a peck on the lips.

"I'm just going to have a shower, then we have to get ready for mum and dad tonight, we promised them dinner." Harry nodded and realised this would be a good chance to have a look around. Hermione walked upstairs and he realised he wouldn't have too much time to snoop. If he knew Hermione, she didn't seem the type to have long, drawn out showers. Once she was out of sight, he quickly looked around the lounge again.

Nothing there, just the wedding photo.

He walked into the library and saw the rows of books and a small area that was obviously a little office, he must have missed that as he walked out earlier. He walked over to a small desk in the corner and started rummaging through some old photos that were on top. He saw photos of Ron and Luna's wedding, he still laughed at that one. He also found photos of the two of them on holidays, actually heaps of photos of them on holidays, they must obviously travel a lot. He kept flicking through the photos and came across some of Ginny and Neville's Engagement first and then the wedding day. She looked so happy with Neville and it made him happy to see that. At that moment Hermione walked in and saw what he was looking at and she hugged him tightly.

"Harry, what if that happens to us, what if we can't have babies? What if we are alone?" for some reason this bothered Harry immensely.

"Hermione Granger.. you listen to me, …." Hermione interrupted him.

"Harry Potter, I have not been a Granger for two years now, and since when did you call me Hermione Granger anyway?" Hermione stood with her hand on her hip in a very typical stance for her and he laughed.

"OK, Mrs Potter, that won't happen to us ok, we will have heaps of babies and if for some reason we can't, we will adopt heaps of babies. You, my beautiful wife will never want for anything." Hermione smiled a huge smile and then said the strangest thing.

"Harry, you always say that!"

The rest of the afternoon went by smoothly. Harry didn't slip up at all and was even contemplating leaving before her parents arrived. He was enjoying being with her and hugging her and kissing her so much that time escaped him and he found that someone was knocking at the door. Hermione quickly smoothed out her skirt and fixed her hair.

"Do I look ok honey?" _what has her so nervous?_ Harry thought as he went to answer the door for the Granger's and he wondered if they had changed. He pulled open the door and the smile slipped off his face and the colour drained away from it as well.

"Hi Son, you look like you just saw a ghost?" James Potter was hugging his son but Harry's arms fell down his body. His mother came in next and fussed over his hair.

"Oh Harry, sweetie, has the cat got your tongue tonight, usually you're chatting non-stop." They walked in as if they had been there a million times before. Harry slowly turned around with his mouth still gaping open. He heard his 'parents' greeting his 'wife' and he suddenly had a panic attack.

He raised his wand and called out three times, _Vox populi, Vox populi, Vox populi, ._


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi everyone, _

_thanks for the reviews, I hope you like this chapter, _

_Sirius xox_

**Chapter 3**

He was standing in his library once more, breathing hard and he felt faint and it wasn't from the transporting. He fell into his chair and saw the leather bound book on the table. He had to remember to leave that in plain site when he left so he knew what room he was in, or more accurately, what dimension he was in.

Harry summoned a fire whiskey and tried to make sense of everything that had happened. He looked at the large clock on the wall and it told him he had been away for an hour. When he was 'over there' it was more like four hours so the time difference must be quartered.

It took Harry days and days to get a grip on what had happened. He realised he felt much better when he wrote it in the journal. He decided to put in date entries so he could compare his notes the next time he travelled. He was excited but also petrified. He thought about Dumbledore's words to him all those years ago at Hogwarts and knew he was wasting his real life by obsessing over his fantasy life but at least he felt alive there.

The next time he saw Hermione, he felt awkward and she must have known as she asked him on more than one occasion if he was alright. He shook it off and said he was getting over a flu and she accepted that.

It took Harry quite a while to pluck up the courage to go through the arch again. It was close to a month later when he made the next jump. The reason being that he was very nervous and also Ginny and Neville had announced their engagement. He laughed when he saw the outfits they were wearing as they were the same ones he had seen in the photos. He realised that coincidences like this could create quite a lot of confusion for him. He needed to keep his wits about him. The party at the Burrow was lovely but when Ron and Hermione started bickering, and then a full on argument erupted, it brought the evening to a quick ending.

Harry wrote down a lot of his feelings in the journal this time and also questions that he hoped he could answer upon his return. He wanted to know whether he would go back to the same time frame?, Would he always land in the library?, and a million other questions about his parents. He stood poised in front of the archway and spoke the incantation, _Penetro dimension _and he felt the familiar tug yet again. He landed in his alternate library. Ok, that answered one question. Then he ventured out to see what time frame he had landed on this time.

Would it continue straight from the last time or would it be a completely different scenario? What if he and Hermione weren't married this time, what if he was with someone else? He felt slightly anxious as he made his way to the lounge to see if the photo was there.

It was.

Thank Merlin.

The scene was different this time, Hermione was sitting down talking to someone who had their back to Harry. Harry walked in nervously and when Hermione spotted him, a huge smile graced her face yet again. He could really get used to seeing that. As he was taking in the beauty of his 'wife', the other person sitting on the chair turned around and yet again Harry's heart fell to his feet and he actually needed to grab the chair next to him for support.

It was Sirius. His Godfather was sitting in front of him. His dead Godfather.

"OK buddy, you don't need to over react, Hermione already gave me the third degree about not being over in so long... just give it up will you?" Sirius laughed and so did Hermione but Harry just walked over to him and leant down to hug him tightly.

"Are you alright mate? James said you looked a bit spooked last week, is everything ok?" Harry couldn't speak, he could only nod. Hermione grabbed his hand and told him to sit down. She pointed to his drink that was on the side table and Harry worried for a second whether the Harry from this time would make an appearance.

"So how's work going for you? I know I gave you a hard time about opening you're own investigation office, but I have to say I am proud of how hard you work." Sirius smiled and Harry nodded. Hermione leant into his embrace and Harry decided he could happily hold her like this forever. He knew there were dangers of staying too long in the alternate world but it made it so hard for him to want to go back. He knew he was going back to loneliness and heartbreak.

Harry spent much longer there this time as Sirius stayed for lunch and then Ron, Luna and the six kids came over. Harry was completely contented to stay here all night and decided that might not be a bad idea.

Dinner with the Weasley clan was noisy and loud and absolutely wonderful. They all laughed all night and the kids ran a muck through the house much to Harry's delight. Hermione and Luna played with the youngest twins and Ron and Harry entertained the four older children. They all played games and laughed and when the kids got sleepy Ron suggested they leave but Harry convinced them to stay and let the kids sleep in the lounge room. Luna and Ron looked at each other and smiled and agreed quickly. With all the sadness of Ginny's news the last week, they were all ready to have a good night. It was after 2am when they finally left and Hermione told Harry that she was having a shower and she would wait for him in bed.

Harry stood downstairs looking at the direction of the bedroom for quite sometime. It wasn't really cheating if he was sleeping with his own wife was it? He raised his wand and said the incantation twice and when it was time for the third part, he lowered it and walked upstairs to have a night he would hold dear in his heart forever.

As he stepped on the last step at the top, the bathroom door opened and Hermione stepped out in a black night dress. It was all lace and he could see her pale skin underneath. He walked over to her and his desire was already at exploding point. He took her in his arms and kissed her as passionately as his could.

"Hermione, let's work on having those babies tonight?" Harry's eyes were full of desire and lust and Hermione shivered under his stare.

"What a wonderful idea Harry, let's go." Hermione lead the way to their room and when the door opened, Harry was surprised to see it was decorated exactly the same way as his room in the real world. He decided not to dwell on that but on the wonderful woman leading him to their bed.

Harry laid her down in the middle of the bed and let his eyes absorb the beauty that was lying next to him. His hands slowly ran over her waist and down to her legs. As he pulled his hands back up he brought her dress up with it and took it off over her head. She laid naked in front of him and he felt his arousal through his pants begging to be let free. Hermione started to undress him and Harry was pleased when he could breathe a little better. He leant down and kissed her roughly on the mouth and she eagerly replied. The kisses were becoming more and more frantic and before either of them knew it, Harry was positioned at her entrance and was almost ready to ask permission but she leant up into him and he slipped inside her warm, velvet folds. He couldn't stop the groans escaping from his mouth and decided he didn't want to. Hermione was panting and a light sweat covered her body which made him want her even more. He kissed her supple breasts and found she liked it when he kissed the pulse point on her neck. The thrusts became more and more frantic and it wasn't long before Hermione screamed his name and he followed her in ecstasy.

He pulled her close to him and when he heard her deep breaths that told him she was sleeping, he got up and got dressed and went 'home'.

Life at his home was normal. Boring. Lonely.

He didn't see anyone very much and since his new obsession had started taking shape, he hardly went out either. He wrote in the journal, explaining everything that had happened and the deep, soul crushing love he had for Hermione. He wrote down all the details, as much as he could, about how it felt to hold her and love her and he hoped one day his imaginary life and his real life would be the same.

Once he got it into his head that it was his imaginary life and nothing bad would come of it, Harry went through the arch on many occasions and found that instead of going monthly he was going weekly, then daily. He knew his obsession was wrong and he knew it would probably kill him, but what would any normal person do? Stay in the world where your heart is full and your life is wonderful, or come back here to the drone that was his life.

Ginny and Neville's wedding day approached and Hermione was the matron of honour. She was wearing an emerald green dress and Ron was her partner. That part was the part that nearly killed Harry. All he wanted to do was escape back to his world, where he was the centre of attention and he was with her. During the night Hermione came over and spoke to him but Ron was always with her. He realised he hadn't seen them for quite some time and he missed the real Hermione terribly. At one point, the three of them were talking when Ron got called away for official duties and Hermione took the opportunity to talk to him alone.

"Harry, I really need to talk to you, I am worried about you..."  
"There's nothing to worry about Mione, I'm fine." Hermione reached over and took his hand and his sharp intake of breath did not go unnoticed.

"Harry, I have been having dreams that you are in danger and I can't help you, it's like you're in another dimension and I can't reach you. Harry it's really scaring me and there have been other dreams too." Hermione looked down and seemed embarrassed, Harry was still getting over the fact that she had had the other dreams, what else did she see in her sleep?

"What type of dreams Mione?" Harry pushed on.

"Dreams that a lady shouldn't discuss... but that's beside the point, where have you been, I never seem to catch you at home any more and..."

"What do you mean catch me at home?" Harry was still holding her hand and slipped the entwined hands under the table to rest on her knee. He loved the feeling of holding her hand even though they could easily be caught. Hermione went on to tell him that she had come over about six times in the last two weeks and he wasn't home. A familiar song started to play and Harry stood and asked her to dance, she looked over to find Ron but she couldn't see him, so she nodded. Harry led her out to the dance floor and held her tightly against his body. They swayed to the music and then Hermione broke the silence.

"Harry, I am really worried, please talk to me." Hermione looked into his eyes and he was so tempted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her where he was spending his days and most nights and more importantly with who.

"Harry, please!" Harry looked at her and nodded.

"Can you come over later tonight, alone?" Hermione looked at him and after a few minutes of trying to read his face, she nodded.

"Harry I have some things I need to talk to you about too." Harry nodded and with the silence they comfortably continued their dance.

Harry felt rather excited. He was ready to show Hermione the archway and was even more ready to tell her how he felt. It had gotten to the stage that he didn't care about Ron any more, he just wanted her to know. He was quite aware of the fact that she may stay with Ron but at least she would know.

Harry left the wedding a little earlier than everyone else and whispered to Hermione that he would wait for her. She nodded and he left with a smile on his face.

He got home and tidied up the kitchen from his lunch earlier and waited patiently for her to arrive. It was only 11pm and he knew the wedding was due to finish now so by the time she helped Mrs Weasley with bits and pieces and then took Ron home, she should be here by 12am. Harry realised he had time for a shower so he went to freshen up.

He was dressed and freshly showered and had a drink next to him. He went over his speech in his mind numerous times and was quite happy with what he was going to say. He looked at the clock and it was 12.05am.

Not long now.

12.45am.

Surely not much longer.

1am, 2am, 3am and then 4. Harry realised with a heavy heart that she wasn't coming. He fell asleep on the armchair and woke about 9am. He was stiff and disappointed. He hoped she would come during the day, it was possible she couldn't get away from Ron. He felt slightly relieved.

Two weeks had passed and she hadn't come or even contacted him. He was passed disappointed, he was angry now. He also realised that while he had been waiting for this Hermione to come to him, his other Hermione would never do that to him.

Harry walked into the library and stared at the archway. For some reason he just couldn't fight the anger inside him to use it against her. He was angry but he couldn't walk through the arch the way he was feeling. He stormed out and slammed the library door and walked out to go flying.

Harry found the next few weeks were very unsettling for him. It had been a month since Ginny's wedding and Harry had gone through all the emotions, anger, sadness, abandonment and back to anger. Ginny and Nev were coming over for dinner that night as he had refused their many invitations. Ginny was excited to show him the wedding photos and feeling slightly guilty, Harry agreed.

_Hope you liked it, poor Harry._

_Sirius xox_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hi another Chapter for you guys, glad you're enjoying it._

_Sirius, PS not my characters, they belong to J....._

**Chapter 4**

Harry spent the day getting ready for his guests. He heard their knock on the door and he left his home-made pizzas to let them in. Ginny looked so happy and for a moment Harry felt a sense of guilt. He wondered if his alternate world was a reflection of this one and Ginny may not be able to have children.

Ginny talked all night and her happiness was infectious and Neville was so happy that Harry was slightly envious.

"So Harry, I have been talking all night, tell me what's been happening with you?" Ginny took a sip while she asked. Harry contemplated telling her just for the sake of telling someone but then he thought about how totally ridiculous it would sound.

"Nothing much Gin, just working on this place. Anyway I like to hear how things are with you guys? How is Ron and Hermione?" Harry bit the bullet and asked. He had waited all night for one of them to say something but neither would so he asked.

Ginny and Neville looked at each other and then Ginny looked down, Neville took this as his cue to talk.

"Umm, wow Harry where to begin..." Neville sighed but then he continued.

"... well as you know very well things have been a little rough for those two for quite a while and they have had some full on arguments. Well the clincher came at our wedding actually. We don't know all the details but Ron was drunk and Hermione had enough and after we left the reception, it all exploded and they broke up." Neville was quiet but Harry couldn't help feeling happy, relieved and slightly drunk on this news. Ginny continued on,

"It was full on Harry, well from what Charlie and the others said. Apparently Hermione even cursed him because of what he was saying..."

"What do you mean saying, what was he saying?" Harry interrupted. Ginny and Neville looked at each other and were obviously debating whether to tell Harry or not. After a few moments, Neville continued.

"He sort of called her a few bad names and he accused her of loving someone else and cheating on him. She was mad, no furious actually, and she told him never to contact her again." Ginny interrupted and continued with the story. Not that anything mattered to him at this point, all he could think of was the fact she was free, she was available. How wonderful.

"Anyway it got really bad and dad had to step in. He pulled Ron away and dragged him into the kitchen and gave him a stern talking too...." Ginny was lost in thought for a few minutes and then she continued.

"... anyway it took a while but they got back together."

"WHAT!" Harry hadn't realised he had said that out loud and then he had to cover it up. Ginny and Neville were staring at him and he quickly covered it up by saying he couldn't believe they argued and broke up but it was good that they were back together. By the look on Neville's face he knew Harry was lying but he didn't say anything.

It may have been rude but Harry was not a very gracious host for the rest of the evening, he did not remember offering them coffee, even though the cups were still on the table. He did not remember offering them dessert, but again, the plates were still resting on the table. He could not recall the time they left or how he made it back to the library with a bottle of Fire whiskey, but it lay empty next to his chair. He sat up in his chair and tried unsuccessfully to focus on the clock on the wall. He could not see the time and it was a few minutes before he realised he did not have his glasses on. He rubbed his eyes and reached over to get his glasses and then wished he hadn't. He had a huge hangover but he decided to endure his self inflicted pain a bit longer. He looked over at the Archway and made a few decisions that may not have been good for his mental stability.

Harry spent the next month in and out of the Archway, he went everywhere with his wife, from holidays to the snow, to celebrating his birthday, to just enjoying family picnics and the one he liked the best, was having his parents and Sirius over for dinner.

Harry found that the wonderful thing about his alternate reality was that it was always good. He 'knew' Hermione would be waiting for him, he 'knew' she would be there with open arms but most importantly, he 'knew' he would be happy. His life in the real world had become so sad and lonely that he felt like this was his only option. He had made the decision to continue his life in his other world and even possibly die there, because nothing could be worse than dying here feeling so lonely.

***********

Hermione was sitting at work feeling less than agreeable. She constantly snapped at people, yelled at a trainee for no reason at all which caused everyone to tiptoe around her. Her secretary came in and gently closed the door. Hermione looked up to glare at the person who was interrupting her and she slammed her quill down.

"What is it Maree? I am extremely busy." Hermione snapped. Maree cautiously walked over and sat down on the seat in front of her desk.

"Madame Granger, may I please ask you something, it's rather personal?" Maree tried very hard to maintain eye contact, even though she felt very intimidated.

Hermione tried not to roll her eyes but placed her papers aside. "What is it Maree?"

Maree shifted uneasily in her seat and then started telling Hermione that her fellow co-workers were worried about her behaviour over the last few months. Maree talked gently about the different things that were not characteristic of her, yet she had been displaying. Hermione was quite annoyed at first but after a few minutes she realised that what Maree was saying was true. Hermione stood up and walked over to her window.

"Maree, I don't even like myself at the moment, I can't possible expect any of you to like me too." Hermione sighed. Hermione walked back to her desk and sat down, she laid her head down on her folded arms.

"Madame Granger, is it Master Ron, is he the one who makes you so unhappy?"

"Yeah, it is Maree," she mumbled through her folded arms.

"Then madame, I think you know what you need to do, nobody should be so unhappy with someone they are supposed to be in love with." There was silence for a while and then Maree asked Hermione another question.

"Madame Granger, is the problem that you love another and your heart is torn?"

Hermione looked up at the young lady in front of her and couldn't believe she could see something that nobody else had picked up on. The expressions that were running across her face made Maree smile.

"Madame Granger, you need to tell him you love him because you deserve to live a happy life. Does he love you back?"

Hermione nodded. She had known of Harry's feelings for quite some time but was always worried of how Ron would over react and therefore didn't want a repeat of the many arguments that they had had. Hermione laid her head down again and allowed herself to think of Harry. She missed him terribly and decided to go and see him this afternoon.

She had a few decisions to make before she could be free to love Harry and Ron was the main one.

"Maree, I am going out for a while, please hold my cal...." Hermione looked up and saw that Maree had left and she didn't know when.

She grabbed her bag and cloak and apparated straight over to Ron's work. She walked in and saw him sweet talking some young girls that were in his shop. She looked at him and waited for the feeling of betrayal to hit her. It didn't.

Hermione walked over to the girls and when Ron saw her he turned red, cherry red. He started stuttering out his apology but Hermione raised her hand for him to stop. As she did this the front door of the shop closed and locked. Ron looked over and at least had the decency to be embarrassed.

"Hermione, I'm sorry, it's not what you're thinking..."

"Ron, don't say it please, I am here because you and I both know we are not going anywhere with our relationship..."

"Mione, don't do this, they mean nothing to me."

"It's not them Ron, it's us, can you honestly say you are happy?" Ron nodded but did not speak.

"See Ron you can't even utter the words, you are not happy and neither am I. I have become someone I don't want to be. I am angry all the time, I scream at my staff, I bite people's heads off and it's because I am miserable Ron. I can't do this any more, I am leaving, I have already organised for my stuff to be moved out of the apartment so you won't have to worry about it." Ron looked dejected but surprisingly, not angry.

"No Mione, I will move out, you pay the rent anyway, I can move back home but you have no where else to go." Hermione knew he was trying to be civil but she was annoyed that he brought up the fact that her parents were gone.

Hermione took in a deep breath and smiled.

"Bye Ron, I hope in time we can still be friends." She held out her hand to shake his hand but he pulled her in for a hug.

"We will always be friends Mione, I think actually we are better off as friends." Hermione pulled back, smiled and went to leave the shop. As she got to the door, Ron stopped her.

"Mione, do you love him?" Hermione did not turn around to face him as she felt like that would be too much for him to take.

"I don't know Ron, I really don't know." She kept walking and didn't see the lonely tear drop fall down Ron's cheek.

_That's it for this one, we are half way through._

_Sirius xox_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Hermione was going to go back to work but she decided she needed to make amends with Harry first. It had been over two months now since Ginny's wedding and truth be told, she had been avoiding him. She had been so stressed about the argument with Ron, as that had been the first one she had had in front of his parents, that she had spent the last two months avoiding everyone. She was hurt and embarrassed but once the argument was over with, she was embarrassed again that she left Harry waiting.

Once she had made that decision, she realised it probably wasn't so wise to go running over there when her and Ron had only just separated. She wanted to get her head clear first.

It had taken a while for her to get her head straight and when Ron moved out his belongings, it was easier to move on. The flat felt empty and she had been playing around with the idea of moving to a smaller unit. One that didn't hold any memories. She informed her landlord that she was moving out and she needed him to find another tennant.

Harry was never far from her mind and the time had come to talk to him. She apparated straight to Harry's front door and knocked. She waited and waited and then decided to unlock the door with her wand.

She crept in and looked in the kitchen first. On the table were some scattered photos and a cup of coffee that seemed to have been there for quite a while. She walked over to the fridge and opened it and found the bare essentials, some cheese, butter, sandwich spread and some day old milk. There were a few vegetables on the bottom shelf that no longer resembled any living plant, so Hermione vanished them with her wand. She turned to leave the kitchen and noticed the photos she had seen on her way in. There were twelve photos scattered on the table and they were all taken at Ginny's wedding.

Every photo was of her.

There were close ups of her face, photos of her walking down the aisle, photos of her standing at the alter and the one she picked up was a photo of her and Harry dancing. She hadn't realised how close he held her body to his. As the animated picture moved around to show Harry's face, Hermione could not believe how happy he looked, her face was full of nervous glances obviously looking out for Ron, but his face was full of pure bliss.

Hermione laid the photos back down and walked out to the lounge room, everything was normal in there. She walked upstairs and went to his room, she opened the door slowly and was completely surprised by what she saw. The room was beautifully decorated and above his bed was a huge portrait of her. Hermione walked over slowly towards the bed while staring at the photo. It was again taken at Ginny's wedding, and it was just of her face. The photographer had caught her unaware because she had a bewildered look in her eyes.

Hermione remembered when he took it, she was walking into the reception and she was holding Ginny's flowers as well as her own and the photographer called her name. She turned around and he snapped the shot. All you could see was the huge bunch of flowers she was holding, framing her beautiful face with a few strands of hair trailing down her neck. Her eyes were glowing and her face was perfect. Hermione was shocked, Harry must have touched up the photo because she did not remember seeing it that flawless when the photographer took it, especially being so large.

She walked out of his room and closed the door. She decided to wait for Harry in the lounge room and made her way down there. It was only early afternoon so she had time to wait.

Six hours later.

Hermione was starting to get worried. He was late, very late. But then she realised he may be out this late all the time, what would she know. Hermione then started to realise with a startling shock that she didn't really know Harry at all.

It was getting close to 10pm and Hermione decided to go home, she had been waiting for nearly 9 hours now and she thought with a heavy heart that Harry may be out with a girlfriend or someone special. Hermione stood up and went to get her cloak and bag and as she passed by the hallway she saw a light on in the library.

"Harry, is that you?" No answer.

She walked in to the room and saw something there that she had not seen before. On the back wall, adjacent to the large window, stood an enormous wooden frame. The frame itself did not catch Hermione's eye as much as the silver liquid that was flowing inside of it. It looked like an enormous frame of blue, silver, silken water. She walked over and slowly put her hand into the liquid. It felt cold and smooth and she quickly pulled her hand back. She stumbled backwards until her knees hit a soft lounge chair.

Hermione sat down heavily in the chair, her eyes still trained on the mysterious arch. A thousand thoughts were running through her mind, none of which seemed to be making any sense. She ran her hands through her hair and decided to ask Harry himself when she saw him tomorrow. She stood up quickly and left without a backwards glance at the intriguing arch behind her. She closed the front door and apparated back to her apartment.

Sleep did not come easily to Hermione that night. She realised that Harry must have been talking about the arch when he said he had something to tell her on the night of Ginny's wedding. She finally dozed off and dreamt about Harry falling down a large black hole. She could see his face and his hand reaching for her but she couldn't get to him, she felt like something was holding her back from going in after him. She woke up in a cold sweat and looked at the time. It was only 1.30am so she decided to get some more sleep.

This time her dream changed. She was watching Harry while he was reading a book, she walked up behind him and ran her hands down his chest towards his stomach. He leaned his head back searching for her face. He grabbed her head with one hand and pulled her into him and kissed her hard. Her hands moved down to the bulge in his pants and he groaned in her mouth. He stood without breaking the kiss and he pulled her back down with him on to the chair. He kissed her roughly, and she loved it. She ran her fingernails down his back and pulled his shirt up over his head. While she did that, he quickly unbuttoned her top and unclasped her bra. He took her breasts into his mouth one by one and the heat was building quickly in her core. He ground into her body and she could feel his erection begging to be set free. She reached down and undid his zip and button and he shimmied out of his pants, while she did the same. He entered her quickly and she threw her head back in ecstasy. He pumped into her until she felt like she was going to explode and then she yelled out his name and sat straight up in bed covered in a sweat with her body still tingling from the dream.

She only had half an hour to go before her alarm went off so she went for a nice long shower. She had some business to take care of herself since she didn't have Harry there to finish what the dream had started.

Work was better as everyone realised she wasn't on edge and it made for a nicer work place. Hermione glanced out her window for most of the day thinking about Harry and what he could be doing. As soon as five pm hit, she apparated straight over to his house and knocked. Again, there was no answer so she let herself in. She called out to him but the house was empty. She walked into the kitchen and found the coffee cup gone and the photos piled up on the side bench.

At least he had been home.

Hermione checked the house and found a few things different, like his bed wasn't made today. She walked down stairs and walked into the library and again found the arch illuminated with the silvery blue water. She sat down and stared at it, for some reason she was expecting Harry to walk through it. After tiring of watching the arch, her eyes were drawn to a red leather bound book sitting on the small table. She picked up the book and resumed her vigil along side the arch in the red armchair.

Hermione opened the front cover and read an inscription to her.

_Dearest Hermione,_

_I found this book in France and I thought of you immediately. I hope it will give you pleasure._

_Love always, Harry._

Then underneath that inscription was another one written with a different quill and quite rushed.

_P.S Hermione this book has taken on a new duty. I have decided to use it as a diary for my adventures in the Archway of Erised so one day you can know what eventually happened to me. Please know I will always love you._

_Harry_

Hermione realised her hands were trembling as she turned the pages of the diary and stared at the arch in front of her. Before she started, she glanced at the time it was 6.10pm then she started reading the little book that held so many answers.

Hermione closed the book at 12.30am and felt the tears on her cheek. She angrily swiped at her cheeks and slammed the book shut with a loud scream. She was angry and frustrated and annoyed all at once. She stood up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. She was so tired she decided to go back home and have some sleep and be back early in the morning since Harry seemed to be there for breakfast and not much else.

She went back into the library and took the book and placed it in her bag, she knew she would want to reread certain parts. She set her alarm for 5am so she would be sure to catch him before he left.

*******

Harry staggered through the archway at 2am and went straight to bed as he was exhausted. He had a deep sleep and awoke groggy at 7am. He was still in between sleeps when he went down stairs to get a drink. As he descended the stairs, he wracked his brain trying to remember if he came through the arch or not. He knew he had woken alone but if he was in his new world, his Hermione would be somewhere. He glanced in the library and saw the book missing and smiled a huge grin. He walked into the kitchen and saw his wife standing there by the kitchen sink, drinking some cold water.

He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist. He started kissing her neck and pulled her close to his body. She could feel his obvious erection and didn't quite know what to do about it.

"Morning Mrs Potter, what's up? Did we over do it last night?" Hermione was shocked but she needed to let Harry know what had happened. She turned around and found Harry's lips crushing hers. As much as she wanted to react and return his kiss, she knew this was the only way. She stood there and waited till he noticed.

"Mione, baby what's wrong? You're not worried about mum, dad and Sirius coming over today are you?" Hermione pushed him away gently and the confused look on his face was killing her.

"Harry, it's not what you think..."

"How about we go back to bed and I can see about getting a smile on your face, hey?" Harry leant forward and started kissing her neck again.

"Harry you need to stop, I am not your wife." Harry stopped kissing her but did not pull back. This was confusing him, Hermione was never stand offish towards him. What was wrong?

"Harry, you're not in your other world, this is the real world, this is where you're supposed to be." Harry stepped back from her like she had a disease.

"What are you talking about?"

"I read the diary Harry, I found it and I read it, I know all about the other life you have been living."

Harry staggered backwards and fell into his dining chair and ran his hand through his hair. He was confused, where was he, home or the real world? Why was Hermione in his kitchen if this was the real world.

"Why are you here if you're not my wife?" He looked at her with such pain filled eyes, it broke her heart. She walked forward but Harry flinched away from her. This hurt her but she didn't have time to worry about it now.

"Harry I was worried about you, I have been here for three days in a row now and I keep missing you, so I came really early today to see you. Harry you have to understand this is not healthy, you have to stop going through the archway." Harry looked at her with such anger she recoiled back from him.

"Stop, STOP, are you out of your freaking mind, I can't stop, I won't stop, that is my life now, I have no life here any more...."

"Yes you do Harry, you have me!" Harry stared at her and then laughed but then stopped dead. Hermione was petrified and then he screamed at her to get out of his house. He yelled and yelled until she left.

_Harry is on the edge at the moment, but at least Hermione knows._

_Sirius xoxo_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Hermione was hurt and scared. She apparated straight home and fell onto her bed exhausted and spent.

Hermione cried and cried. She didn't understand what was happening to Harry, was he under a spell or something. She called work and told them she wouldn't be in this week, she was taking leave as a family member was ill. Hermione thought about Harry all day, trying to decided the best way to deal with his addiction. Yes, an addiction, that's exactly what it was. There were so many questions going through her head and for once she didn't have the answers.

The following day, Hermione apparated back to Harry's house and knocked but he didn't answer. She tried to open the door but he changed the spell to keep her out. She laughed at him thinking something so trivial as a locking spell could beat her. She walked in and checked the house in case he was actually there. She glanced in the kitchen on her way to the library and she stopped dead. There were broken plates and cups everywhere.

The whole kitchen was in upheaval.

She used her wand to fix everything and then sighed.

She walked in to the library and was surprised, but also shocked to see the archway wasn't it's usual blue satin colour. She quickly checked behind her and then checked the rest of the house downstairs. He wasn't there so she walked upstairs. She slowly approached his room and from where she was standing she could see that he was asleep on his bed. He obviously dozed off where he fell as he was laying across the bed fully clothed. Hermione looked at the time and noticed it was almost lunch time so she walked downstairs and apparated back to her house to get some food for lunch as Harry's fridge was so scarcely stocked. She came back and bounced off his wards and landed on the front door step again.

Frustrated, she used her spell to get in and then closed the door quietly. She knew the wards being interrupted would alert him that he had a visitor, so she quickly walked in to the kitchen and laid out the food and waited for him to enter. It only took a few minutes when she heard him stumbling down the stairs. He almost fell into the kitchen but he used the door to balance himself.

He looked shocking. His hair was everywhere, more than usual. His eyes were dark and sunken and his face was pale. His skin was shallow and, for want of a better word, dead. He looked like he hadn't eaten for months or at least survived on the bare minimum for that period of time. His shirt was hanging out of his pants and his pants were twisted on his body. He looked like a homeless man and it broke her heart all over again.

"What do you want Hermione?" His voice held no warmth at all.

"Harry, who am I?" He rolled his eyes and tried to stand up straight and look threatening.

"I know who you are Mrs... Miss Granger, you are a busy body and a know it all, who always sticks their nose in where it doesn't belong. That's who you are!" She bit her lip to stop herself from letting the tears fall. She knew this was going to be hard but she had to be strong to save him.

"That may be so Harry but I am also the one person who can help you through this, you need...."

"I don't want your help, get that through your head." Harry growled at her and she was frightened but she knew he wouldn't hurt her. He was frightened and she wondered if she could help someone who didn't need her. This was going to be a long process.

"Can I move in?" Harry opened his mouth to say something but then stopped as he wasn't expecting her to say that. Hermione could not believe that popped into her head.

"Can you what?"

"I asked if I could please move in? I live alone and I don't want to stay at my flat any more and I came here the other day to ask if I could move in. So can you find it in your heart to let a friend, a person who was once a best friend, move in?" Hermione knew this was a huge lie but at this moment it was more of what he needed not what she needed.

She stared at him, waiting.

"What happened to your boyfriend?" Harry's voice was bitter.

"It's over, it has been for quite some time..." she fidgeted with her fingers,

"...Please Harry, I need you."

That did it, Harry's resolve crumbled and he walked forward and cautiously put his arms out to her and she went into his embrace. She knew this was far from anywhere near being fixed, but it was a step in the right direction.

"Let's eat hey Harry?" Harry pulled away from her and he sat down to eat. Hermione had grabbed some muffins and toast from her home and quickly prepared it before he had walked in. He ate slowly at first, probably since he hadn't eaten properly for ages. There was silence while he ate and it was good, as it gave Hermione time to get her thoughts together.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"There's one thing about you staying here."  
"Ok Harry, what is it?"

"I won't talk about anything until I want to talk, ok? I don't need you at me every five minutes, just remember you needed me ok?" Harry looked through his eyelashes at her, obviously not as brave as his words were. She knew she had done the right thing. She reached across the table and held his hand. He interlocked their fingers and held her hand the entire time he was sitting at the table.

After he finished eating, she told him to go and have a shower and get changed as she needed him to help her move her stuff into the spare room.

"Would you like to choose a room Mione, I have five, well four, one's mine." Harry tried to laugh and the sound filled her heart.

"Let's go." She reached her hand out to him and he held it again. He could certainly get used to this.

They walked through the rooms and she commented on each room being the colours of each of the houses at Hogwarts. Thankfully the Gryffindor room was the one right next to Harry's so she snapped it up quickly. Harry smiled a genuine smile and then excused himself to go and have shower so they could go to her flat. She waited till she could hear the water and she apparated back home and 'very quickly' used a few well placed spells so her belongings could start packing by themself.

She got the library books packed and placed the box in the lounge. She was very conscious of the time as she didn't want Harry to come out and she be gone. She did the rest of the bedroom and then the lounge room. She didn't mind leaving the rest, at least it looked as if she had actually been telling the truth.

She apparated back to the front door and let herself in, she concentrated on listening for the water but it was finished. She panicked and flew into the kitchen. He wasn't there so she ran to the library and the arch stood unused.

She walked back to the kitchen and then heard her name.

_Thank Merlin, _"Yeah Harry, down in the kitchen cleaning up." She breathed a sigh of relief and quickly used her wand to clean up the breakfast. Harry walked in behind her while she was emptying the sad and dejected fridge.

"Um Harry, we will seriously need to get some food OK?" she said without looking at him. He watched her cleaning out his fridge and wondered what had happened. How could he go from being

so lonely and having nothing but an imaginary life to keep him company, to having the woman of his dreams living in his house. He decided not to question it and just accept it with open arms.

"Yeah Mione, I suppose I should feed you hey?" Hermione turned around to look at him with a cheeky smile on her face.

The smile slid off as she saw how he looked. His hair was messy and wet and he had a v neck t shirt on that was pale yellow and he was wearing a pair of black pants. He looked breath taking. She couldn't help herself stare and she only stopped when he laughed. She quickly stood up and turned around and tried to take a few deep breaths.

She felt his hand on her shoulder, gently turning her around. His hand moved up into her hair and he held onto her neck and guided her towards him. She placed a hand on his chest with all intentions of pushing him back but she couldn't find a bone in her body that would obey her traitorous head. She felt his lips on hers and she begged him to deepen the kiss. It was soft and gentle and the fireworks that were exploding in her stomach were making her dizzy. He pulled back and then kissed her again on her forehead. This time a little firmer and longer.

"Ready to go and pack up your life?" Hermione nodded unable to trust her voice.

They got to her flat and her little plan worked. Harry was surprised to see the boxes in the lounge room and commented that he thought she was only joking. She didn't look him in the eye when she answered. It didn't take them long to pack up her life and she was saddened by this.

"Mione, what's wrong, are you having second thoughts?"

"No Harry, new people are moving in, in three days, no I was just thinking how my whole life's possessions are sitting here in front of me in this ridiculously small pile. How sad is that?" Harry walked over and put his arms around her from behind. He pulled her against his body and rested his chin on her shoulder. His proximity was driving her insane but on the other hand, she loved it.

"Your possessions don't define who you are Mione, what you do with your life does." she nodded and Harry held her a bit longer. She lifted her hands to cover his and squeezed his hands.

It didn't take them long to unpack her belongings in her new room and at this moment they were trying to decided what to do with all her books. She was itching to get down to the library so she could broach the subject but Harry didn't fall for it and just converted the room next to hers into an office and library for her. For some reason she got the feeling that Harry was keeping her there forever.

Not that she was complaining.

After they finished unpacking they decided to go shopping and they spent the afternoon restocking the fridge and cupboards. Harry cooked them a nice meal and they sat down to watch some television. It was comfortable and familiar for Hermione which surprised her.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Hermione laughed and then told him how comfortable she felt.

"How long do you have off work?"

"The rest of this week, I go back next Monday." Harry nodded and mumbled good. The first thing she thought of was that she would be out of the way for him to go back through the archway. As much as she wanted to, she decided against bringing up the subject.

The rest of the week was great, she had a great time with Harry. They fixed up her office and went out for lunch and played games. He tried to teach her how to fly but they gave up on that one. They cooked dinner together and then got into a food fight. She honestly couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much.

On Saturday night Harry asked her what happened with Ron, so she told him everything. He was angry when they finished that Ron had hurt her so much over the last few years. She reassured him that she was over him, it had been over a month since she had seen him and even longer that she had fallen out of love with him. Harry sipped his whiskey and then without making eye contact he asked her if she could ever love another man.

"Probably not Harry," she answered, watching every possible reaction he would show.

"Oh ok." He didn't move his eyes away from his drink.

"Yeah, that's probably because I have been in love with someone for many years and I could never love anyone as much as I love him." Harry's eyes shot up to her face, he dared to hope. She smiled and leant over and kissed him on the lips.

"Goodnight Harry, sweet dreams." Hermione took her cup to the sink smiling all the way. She knew she loved Harry, she had for so long but as he hadn't shown her any interest, she settled for Ron. But she knew she couldn't stay with him even if it meant living a lonely life, she couldn't stay with someone she didn't love.

She put her glass in the sink and turned around to go up to bed but Harry was right behind her. His eyes were smouldering and his face was flushed. He looked absolutely sexy and all she wanted was to eat him right there.

He stepped closer and she was trapped between his body and the sink bench. She could feel his arousal and also knew that she just as ready for him.

"Hermione, tell me please?" she knew what he meant, he didn't want any more guessing.

"It's you Harry, it has been for years." Harry's breathing deepened and he raised his hand to sweep a strand of hair away. Hermione leant into his touch and his hand grabbed the side of her face. He moved in and kissed her. This time it was not gentle or sweet, it was full of the frustrating desire that had been bottling up for years just like her dream. Hermione raised her hands and grabbed his hair with one hand and his neck with the other, holding him in place. He ground into her body and she could feel her own arousal was almost at breaking point.

Harry's hands left a scorching trail down the side of her body and he massaged her breast and the groans that came from her mouth spurred him on even more. The air was thick with desire and want and it was only a few minutes before their clothes were obstructing their desire. Harry knelt down and undid her skirt, then he kissed her exposed stomach and then slowly raised up to remove her shirt. He kissed both her breasts. Between gasps, Hermione started to undo his shirt, one button at a time but Harry was getting impatient. He pulled his shirt off and buttons went flying everywhere. Hermione undid his pants and they slipped down to the floor. She rubbed her hands slowly over his member and his head dropped onto her shoulder. He tried to restrain himself, he didn't want this to be over in a few seconds.

Harry turned them around and guided them both over to the kitchen table and Harry laid her down on it so she was open to him and ready. He pushed himself into her fast and hard. The only sounds that were being made were grunts and groans. Harry could feel her nails digging into his back and it was spurring him on even faster. He felt her walls closing around him and when she screamed his name, he felt the warmth cover him and after three more deep thrusts he came, growling out her name.

He collapsed forward onto her chest but realised she must be so uncomfortable, so he slipped out of her body, and laughed at her protests.

"Mione, sorry...."

"Don't you dare apologise Potter or I will HAVE to curse you." Harry laughed a genuine laugh and pulled her to his body and held her tight.

"I wasn't apologising for what happened, I wanted to say sorry that I was breaking your back." Harry pulled back so he could see her face and she laughed.

"OK you're forgiven then." Harry leant forward and kissed her again, this kiss was full of passion and love and it wasn't hurried or desperate. They both enjoyed the kiss until the cold air was affecting their sweaty bodies.

They spent the night together in Harry's bed and slept in on Sunday. When Harry awoke, he looked at Hermione laying next to him. He still had to check what world he was in but he got his book back off her and placed it next to his bedside table. Every morning when he awoke, he knew where he was. He felt torn, he was loving having Hermione, the real Hermione here but he still missed his parents. He didn't miss the other Hermione as much but his parents and Sirius were really hard to let go of.

"A penny for your thoughts, Mr Potter?"

He turned around startled that she was awake. He turned around and moved her hair out of her face.

"You are so beautiful Mione." She huffed out of her nose and Harry leant in to kiss her. The kiss quickly turned into a passionate morning. This time they took their time, even after they came to his bed last night, the sex was still frantic and desperate, but this time it was slow and loving. The time passed and after they were finished, Hermione went to have a shower.

She took her time, comfortable that Harry was hers now. She soaked in the shower for a while and then got dressed into some comfortable clothes.

She thought about what to do today and decided that she would ask Harry if he wanted to have a picnic. She skipped down the stairs and called out to him. She received no answer and walked into the kitchen to see about some breakfast. After the night they had, she was starving. She made some bacon and eggs with toast and put on two cups of coffee. She called out to Harry again but still no answer.

She walked out into the lounge room and then her heart stopped as she realised where he may be. Her feet felt like concrete blocks as she walked towards the library. She reached the door and her heart fell to her feet, there was the blue silken water floating between the archway. She clutched her stomach and fell down to her knees.

He was gone again.

_Hope you enjoyed it_

_Sirius xox_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hi sorry for the delay, work has been hectic..._

_Anyway hope you like it_

_Sirius_

**Chapter 7**

Hermione stood staring at the blue silken water that was fast becoming her competition. She wasn't good enough for him. He still needed his alternate world. She couldn't fill his needs and she was devastated. The smell of burning bacon caught her attention and she waved her wand in the direction of the kitchen to clean it up.

After a while, she stood and walked upstairs to her room. She closed the door and laid down on her bed and let herself cry. She was jolted by the sound of Harry's voice on the stairway and she quickly stood up and tried to make herself look presentable. He walked past her room and entered his own, but when he couldn't find her, he went back to her room. He opened the door and found her standing by the window with her arms crossed. He hesitantly walked in.

"Mione, what is it?" She didn't move to acknowledge him.

After the deadening silence was too much, Harry spoke again.

"Mione, you're scaring me baby, what's....." She spun around.

"DON'T YOU BABY ME, how dare you?" Harry was shocked, he had no idea what was wrong.

"Mione, please talk to me honey?" He walked over to her and touched her arm but she flinched away from him.

"What did I do wrong Harry?, Why am I not good enough for you?" Harry was shocked and then it dawned on him, she must know when he is in the Archway. He grabbed her and spun her around, ignoring her struggles against him.

"Mione, you have done nothing wrong, I love you." Hermione looked at him and she wanted to dwell in the feeling of him declaring his love for her, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Harry wasn't talking about her, he was talking about the other Hermione, his wife Hermione.

He pulled her closer to him and kissed her forehead. She started to cry and Harry held her tighter.

"Why Harry?, why did you need to go back to her when you had me last night and this morning? Why?" Harry's heart was breaking as he listened to her cry uncontrollably.

He owed her a huge explanation but he needed to settle her down first. He guided her over to her bed and laid down on it while pulling her into him.

"Harry, am I not enough for you?" her voice was only a whisper but he heard it.

"More than you would ever know Mione, I love you more than life itself." He kissed the side of her head.

"Why then?" Harry knew he had to explain everything, even the parts he didn't write down, the parts that even he couldn't admit out loud.

"Let's get something to eat and then we will talk, I promise, I will tell you everything." Hermione looked at him and wondered if he was telling the truth but she had to believe he was.

They sat in the lounge room all day, only breaking to attend the bathroom or get food. Harry talked all day and most of the night. He told her how it all started and how he felt. He told her how he had decided to stay there because he felt he had nothing to live for here.

There were lots of tears and lots of talking and when it hit 2am, Harry suggested they get some sleep since she had to return to work in the morning. They walked upstairs and Harry stopped at the entrance to her room. He looked at her and nodded. She smiled and walked into her room but before that she turned around and kissed him goodnight.

She slowly closed her door and leant against it, she was in two minds; should she stay here tonight or go to his bed?

She changed into her pyjamas and then looked at her closed door. She walked over to it and pulled it open to find Harry still standing there, looking or waiting, she wasn't sure, but she ran into his arms and kissed him again.

They did not make love that night, they were just comfortable being next to each other and sleeping.

Hermione awoke at 7am and reached over for Harry and for a split second she panicked, but then she felt his body and breathed out. Harry was sleeping soundly so she crept out of bed and had her shower and got dressed for work. She sat downstairs in the kitchen having some toast and a coffee and she thought to herself, she had to organise to have the paper delivered. She laughed at how comfortable she felt after only one week living here.

She went to work but Harry was the only thing on her mind.

The days blended into each other and then the days turned to weeks, with the weeks turning into months. Harry came down to have lunch with her some days and she thoroughly enjoyed it. He had not used the arch when she was home again, but she was sure he did while she was at work.

Maree called her on the intercom to tell her that she had a visitor and she jumped up and pulled open the door very quickly hoping to see Harry standing there.

It was Professor Dumbledore.

The shocked look on her face did not go past him.

"Miss Granger, you were expecting someone else possibly?"

"I am sorry Sir, please come in, I do apologise, it is wonderful to see you, how can I help you?" Hermione had closed the door behind him and escorted him to take a seat.

She summoned some tea and biscuits and Professor Dumbledore helped himself. They exchanged niceties and then Hermione decided to cut to the chase.

"Sir, what is it I can do for you?"

"Miss Granger, excuse me for being so bold but is it true that you are living with Mr Potter?" Hermione was taken back.

"Umm yes Sir, but why do you ask?"

"Mr Potter has been dealing with some unsettling artefacts and I am very concerned about his mental health."

"His mental health, HIS MENTAL HEALTH? Forgive me Sir, but if you were worried about his mental health, why on this earth have you waited so bloody long to do something about it. Harry could have been lost forever and you're coming to me NOW?" Hermione was shocked and somewhere deep in her mind she knew she should have been more respectful but she was angry.

"Miss Granger, I know you can fix this, actually you're the only one who can. Harry needs to know he has something to live for here and not escape to the other world. I know it is a lot to ask of you Miss Granger, but if you love him enough, you have to be his partner, his lover, his friend and fill in the void that losing his parents and Sirius has created."

She stood up and walked over to the window. She knew what he was saying was true but she didn't know how to do it, well actually she did. She had been feeling unwell as of late and she had her suspicions. This morning she had done a pregnancy test but was too scared to look at the result. This type of news could send Harry over the edge, the bad edge. She knew if they were in a stable relationship, he would have welcomed a baby but at this point in time, she wasn't so sure.

She turned around to talk to Professor Dumbledore but found he had left. The open door staring at her, beckoning her to go home. She walked over to her desk and took out the large yellow envelope that had her name written on the front with the results in it. She took her coat and bag and decided to walk home. She got out onto the street and after a block, she plucked up the courage to open the envelope, a lot depended on its contents.

As she walked aimlessly through the streets, she quickly scanned the document for the information she required. Her hands started to shake and she stopped walking so she could focus on the words that were floating in front of her eyes.

Positive result.

She dropped her hands down, clutching onto the paper for dear life.

She didn't see the car, nor did she hear people yell at her to move. All she knew was she was, one minute her life had changed and the next she was being thrown through the air and had landed with an enormous crash on the side walk.

People yelled for a healer and all Hermione could do was clutch her stomach and mumble for Harry. She started to close her eyes when she felt some people lift her but her eyelids dropped closed and she went to sleep.

There was pandemonium at St Mungo's. Healer Granger was admitted and everyone was doing there absolute best to save her. She didn't seem to have many injuries but what she had were dangerous considering her delicate nature.

Ron was advised by Molly and was the first one to reach the hospital. Neville and Ginny arrived soon after and before they knew it, the waiting room was full of red heads. The head healer came out to talk to Ron and asked him to contact Harry Potter, it was important he was here.

Ron was shocked at first, he had heard rumours that they were in a relationship but he was yet to hear it from her. It had been quite a while since they had broken up, but it still hurt.

Ron apparated to the house and knocked and knocked. There was no answer. He frantically knocked and walked around the other side of the house in case he was flying out the back. No answer, no Harry.

He went back to the hospital, afraid he might miss some news on her, but when he arrived there had been no change.

"Did you find Mr Potter?" the hospital staff asked.

"No I'm sorry he mustn't be home." The staff went to send him an owl and after quite a few more were sent. They just waited. The afternoon dragged on for the Weasley's and her friends. All they could see were the staff running in and out of her room.

After an hour of waiting patiently, Ron went to try Harry again but came back empty handed. He was getting frustrated and annoyed. Molly tried to tell him Harry would have no way of knowing what had happened but it didn't console Ron at all.

It was five thirty and Harry stepped out of the archway and quickly checked his clock.

He made it, she was only just finishing work. He quickly went to start some dinner but he was interrupted by the sound of an owl pecking at his window. He walked over and was inundated. There were at least twelve owls waiting for him, each sitting waiting to deliver their letters. Harry pulled open the window and took the first letter. He had a grown feeling in his stomach that this was bad news.

Mr Potter,

URGENT

please come to St Mungo's immediately.

Healer Douglas

Mr Potter

Miss Granger has been admitted to St Mungo's.

Please come ASAP, it's urgent

Healer Douglas.

The letters were all the same and Harry took the one he opened and apparated straight to the hospital. He walked in and asked for Hermione Granger and he was directed up to Intensive care, Harry's heart fell.

He followed the nurse up to the third floor and walked out of the elevator, he saw all the Weasley's sitting there and his guilt compounded. Ron saw him, stood up and approached him.

Harry didn't see it coming.

Ron pulled back and hit him straight in the mouth and Harry was thrown back and landed on the floor. He rubbed his jaw and looked up at Ron.

"Where the hell have you been? We have been trying to find you all day, this happened this morning and you turn up now. She is dying in there." Harry couldn't believe it, his entire world was crashing down around him.

He didn't see Neville restrain Ron, he didn't feel Charlie lift him to his feet. He didn't know the lady's name who escorted him into the hospital room. All he knew was, the love of his life was dying here, in a hospital bed, while he was having 'lunch with his parents'. His whole life was a joke, he had the best woman in the world who, for some strange and unknown reason, loved him, and he was too busy living in a fantasy world.

He was deeply ashamed of himself.

_As usual let me know what you think,_

_Sirius xoxo_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Each step that Harry took towards her room felt like he was dragging 100kg concrete blocks. He walked in and stood staring at her, he crept over to her bed and sat down, not taking his eyes of her for one second. Healer Douglas walked in and picked up her file. He looked over it while Harry watched his face, it was etched with worry.

"Mr Potter, you are at present, in a relationship with Healer Granger, is that right?" Harry's eyebrows shot up but he nodded anyway.

"OK well I am not sure if you have been informed by her and I apologise if you hadn't, but Healer Granger is expecting a baby..." Healer Douglas stopped at the look on Harry's face. Harry was shocked and he kept looking between the woman he loved, laying on the bed unconscious, and the man who had just delivered him this news.

"A..a...are you sure?" Healer Douglas flipped a page on her file and read it to Harry.

"Healer Granger, born 19th September, tested for pregnancy this morning at this hospital and the test has shown she is 6 weeks pregnant and she has you down as the father of her child. Is this incorrect?"

"um, well I don't think so, I am sorry, this is the first I have heard of this." Harry leant back in his chair hard. Everything was happening so fast that his head was spinning.

"Mr Potter, I realise you are under an enormous amount of pressure, but for some reason Hermione does not seem to be coming out of her coma. Her, sorry, your daughter is under an enormous amount of stress and Hermione is critical, and I apologise for putting you in such a difficult position but if it comes down to it, and we can only save one, which one would you like it to be?" Harry knew the tears were running down his face but he didn't do anything to stop them.

"I have a daughter."

"Yes sir."

"Choose one or the other?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'm sorry Healer, I can't make that decision right now, please ask me if it comes down to the time when I have to make that choice." The Healer nodded and left Harry alone with Hermione.

He stood up and leant over her fragile body and gently placed a hand on her stomach.

"Hermione, can you hear me sweetheart, we are having a baby, but you have to wake up, please wake up." Harry cried into her chest and when he was physically spent, he sat back down in his chair and watched her. The Weasley's came in, all except Ron, and they convinced him to go home and rest, he was no use to her if he was exhausted. Harry walked out after much persuasion, and looked at Ron in the waiting area.

His look was murderous so Harry kept walking.

"You know what Potter, you don't deserve her. She is too good for you, why she loves you I will never know. I wasn't there for her when we were together but maybe it's because I knew she loved you, but you, you son of a bitch, you have her heart but you treat her like shit, why is she second best to you? Where were you?" Harry looked at Ron and even though he wanted to get angry, he wanted to scream at him, he couldn't, because it was true. He knew she felt like she was second best to a fantasy, a dream, a damn fairytale. What sort of an idiot was he?

"She's dying in there and you weren't here." Harry could hear his heart breaking, but he knew he deserved it, he escaped to a world to have Hermione but the real one was here dying to have him.

He apparated straight to his front door and shoved the door open. Harry walked through his house and into the library. He stood in front of the arch and he raised his wand.

He was so tempted to blow the arch to hell but he just couldn't do it. He lowered his arm and then the vision of Hermione laying in that hospital bed, carrying his child, dying flashed through his mind and he raised the wand yet again. The word "expulsio" was on the tip of his tongue, he tried to say it, he tried to put an end to his pain but the words wouldn't flow. He collapsed down to his knees and cried and cried. After the tears were drying up and the pain in his chest was subsiding, he slowly raised to his feet.

He lifted his wand and slowly spoke the words he knew would change his life again.

"_Penetro dimension," _Harry felt the familiar tug of the portkey pull but this time it was different. He landed in a different place, a sort of twilight zone. As Harry slowly turned around, he noticed it was all white, there were no walls, no doors, no distinguishing features at all, just white. He slowly turned around 360 degrees and then he saw his mother, father and Godfather standing there.

"Mum?" Harry looked at the three people standing in front of him and watched as his mother stepped closer and gently hugged him.

"Where am I?" Harry could feel her hand on his arm but he was certain this was not his alternate world, something just didn't feel right.

James and Sirius stepped forward and looked at him with deep concern in their eyes.

Harry's mother started talking.

"Harry, son, do you know why you are here?" Harry shook his head without answering.

"Sweetheart, I know you are going through a tough time but you need to make some decisions."

Harry huffed out a breath and looked at his parents. Could he really give them up so easily. Nobody could possibly understand the pain and guilt he has suffered at not having his parents with him and watching Sirius die while saving him. It was so hard to say goodbye to the only link he had to his family.

"I know mum but it is so hard..."

"I know son, but this is not living. You are slowly destroying your life for a dream, Harry its not healthy."

"You don't know what it's like to be alone Mum, to have to live without you three people, you can't possibly understand what I am going through." A sob escaped from Harry.

James turned around and waved his arm, to the right of Harry a large vision was materialising. It looked like a huge television screen but with blurred edges. He looked at the image that was forming before his eyes and was shocked to see himself sitting in his library drinking a Fire whiskey. His hair was more messy than usual and his skin looked sad and wrinkled. He looked as if he had aged twenty years.

"What is this? How old am I?" Harry was standing right in front of the image. Sirius walked over and placed his arm on Harry's shoulder.

"This is the future Harry, the future you will have if you don't destroy the arch. You will lose everything mate, you will Hermione and become a hollow man with nothing." Harry continued to watch the shadow of a man on the image in front of him.

"This is next year mate, you're only one year older than now." Harry spun around completely shocked.

Sirius nodded and squeezed his shoulder and then returned back to his friends.

Harry turned around to look at the image but it was fading away and a new one was forming. This time Harry was walking through his house with a huge smile on his face holding a small little boy on his hip. His hair was flowing around his face and his eyes were bright and shining. Harry was laughing and talking to the little boy who was hanging onto his every word.

"Is that me?" Harry's voice held some hope.

"Yes son, that is you with your son, James." Harry turned to look at his dad and smiled,

"But Hermione is having a little girl." James nodded and edged his head towards the image so Harry turned back around to see a little girl running into his arms. She had curly brown hair and the brightest green eyes he had ever seen.

"Is that...?" All three of the people Harry loved, nodded again. The little girl looked like she was about 4 years old but Harry could not believe how happy he looked. The image started to fade and Harry turned back around to see his mother standing in front of him.

"Harry these are the two paths that are before you. Only you can make the decision as to which one you will follow son. If you choose to continue coming through the archway, you will lose everything Harry and we don't want that to happen to you son. You should never have stopped living because of us. We died so you can live and love and you haven't done any of that." Harry felt the tears falling down his face and as much as he knew what he had to do, actually doing it was another thing all together.

Sirius was holding his face in his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes "Harry, mate, you have to say goodbye to us. You have to let go and live your life." Harry struggled against his stare but found he couldn't escape it. He slowly nodded.

"its really hard..." Harry sobbed and his mum stepped forward to kiss his forehead.

"Harry you will never be alone son, we will always be with you." Harry hugged her tightly and then noticed another image was forming on the wall.

This image was of Hermione laying in the hospital bed and it broke Harry's heart to see her so broken. The doctors were working frantically around her waving there wands in complicated motions trying their best to help her.

"What is happening to her?"

"She is losing the fight Harry, she can't hold on much longer." James' voice was deep and the pain was evident. Harry was becoming frantic. "What can I do?"

"You know what you have to do son!" Harry looked at the image and watched as Hermione was dying right in front of his eyes and he was helpless.

He turned around to look at his mother and she smiled with a nod. Harry walked over to Sirius and hugged him very tightly and with tears streaming down his face, he spoke. "Sirius, you were everything to me when I had nothing. I love you so much." Harry chocked but hen managed to breathe out the words that broke his heart, "Goodbye, Sirius." Sirius stepped back and with a glowing smile on his face, his image faded into a small glowing white star that floated above their heads.

James walked over to Harry next and Harry felt the pain build up in the pit of his stomach.

"Harry James Potter, I am so proud of you and I could have never asked for a better son than you. I love you very much." James hugged him tightly and Harry returned the hug.

"Dad, I love you so much and I am sorry you died because of me." James' intake of breathe made Harry look up.

"Harry you did NOT cause our death, we both would do it all again so you can live son, do you understand me?" Harry nodded and hugged his father back and took a little longer to release him. When he finally did, Harry mumbled goodbye through his tears and then James started to glow and then turned into the floating star like Sirius. Harry watched it all and slowly turned to face his mother.

"Harry, please remember that we will never leave you. We will always be here in your heart and we love you so very much." Lily placed her hand on his heart and Harry quickly placed his hand over hers and squeezed it tightly.

"Mum, I love you and miss you so much I find this is becoming extremely difficult." Lily pulled him in for a hug and then turned him around to face the image of Hermione laying in bed.

"This is your life Harry, this is your future son, she is laying there dying for you. She loves you so much Harry she would give up everything for you."

Harry nodded and even he was amazed that he still had tears to fall, but through them he looked at his mother, took a deep breath and told her he loved her and said goodbye. The words almost got stuck in his throat but he forced them out. He watched as she smiled and mouthed that she loved him and then turned into the glowing star like James and Sirius. The three stars floated around and joined into one large star and then shot over towards the image of Hermione and Harry watched as the star entered into Hermione's body. At that moment, Harry found he was back inside his library staring at the Archway.

He knew what he had to do.

It was time to let go.

Harry raised his wand and spoke the words that would finally bury his link to his parents. "Expulsio" Harry said the destruction curse clearly and firmly. The archway exploded into a million slivers of timber. He left his destruction there and apparated straight to St Mungo's. He walked in and as he approached her door, he saw Ron asleep on the chair next to her.

That should have been him, he should have been the one that sat by her bedside all night. He vowed that he would make it up to her if it was the last thing he ever did. Ron must have sensed his presence as he woke up and looked straight at the door. They made eye contact but Harry moved away. The door opened soon after and Ron walked out.

"Harry."

"Ron." Ron nodded and walked over towards the elevator and then left. Harry had stopped to get her a large bunch of red roses and some chocolates for when she woke up.

He walked in and set the roses on the side table. He leant down and kissed her lips firmly and then kissed her forehead and finally her tummy. The Weasley's came and went through the day and Luna also visited her friend after lunch. Ginny and Neville came in about 5pm and Ginny was bursting with some news. She was expecting. It took Harry a few minutes to work out his thoughts, as he was sure they couldn't have children, but then he remembered that he needed to make some new memories.

Some real memories.

It was about 11pm when Harry got the news he wanted, Hermione was starting to show an improvement. She was slowly coming out of the coma on her own and the baby was still fighting for her life.

The next day he waited for her to wake up but she hadn't as yet and Healer Douglas assured him that the slower the better. Harry took a chance and apparated out to his vault and then returned as quickly as possible. No change, thank goodness. He didn't want her to wake up to an empty room.

By dinner that night, she started to mumble different things and when she said his name he felt relieved.

Harry was so exhausted that he fell asleep in the chair this time. He had a dream that Hermione was smiling at him and telling him to come to her. He put his hand out trying to reach her but she slipped further back. Harry woke up with a shock and looked at her bed. It took him a minute to realise she was looking at him. Her face was full of worry and she looked like she was in pain.

"Mione, sweetheart, are you ok?" She nodded vaguely.

"What happened?" Harry sat on her bed and put his hand gently on her stomach, he rubbed small circles on it and took her hand with the other hand.

"Mione, you were hit by a car sweetheart, you were badly hurt and you have been in a coma for three days now. What do you remember?" Hermione tried to sit up but she was aching everywhere. She gave up and stayed in her uncomfortable position.

"Umm, I remember Professor Dumbledore, I remember being upset and then I ….." Hermione stopped and looked at Harry with sheer anguish on her face. He was going to ask if she was in pain but he had a hunch as to what was really wrong.

"Hermione I have something to ask you. I understand if you don't want to answer me straight away and I know you deserve better than me but..."

"Harry I'm pregnant!" Harry looked at her and smiled.

"I know, we are having a little girl." Hermione's eyes widened in surprise and then she smiled.

"You want to have a baby with me Harry?" Harry stood up and took something out of his pocket.

"Mione I love you and I love our baby, but what I want to do is to ask you if you would be my wife, for real?" Harry smiled and waited patiently as she looked into the small black ring box he passed to her.

She opened the box and gasped. The ring was beautiful, it was gold with a large square diamond set into the ring with small emeralds trailing down the side of the band. She slowly took it out and looked at Harry's face but then she looked back at the ring again.

"It was mum's, but if you don't like it, it's fine I will buy you a new one?" Hermione shook her head and the tears were flowing down her face. She handed the ring back to Harry and his heart fell. He deserved this, he had lost her.

"You put it on me Harry please?" Harry's eyes shot up to hers and he smiled in between his tears. He leant in and kissed her soundly on the mouth and while he did that, he slipped the ring onto her left hand.

"I just hoped with all my heart that you would both have me." Harry told her truthfully. She hugged him tightly and then looked at her ring.

The rest of the day was spent with doctors doing tests and checking that the baby was ok. She was doing fine, she was a fighter that one. The Weasley's arrived and Hermione told them her news, well two lots of news, and everyone cheered and congratulated them both. Ron hugged her and turned to Harry and nodded. Harry nodded back and left it at that. There were screams all around when Ginny arrived and told Hermione her news, and as chance would have it, they were due within days of each other.

Harry took Hermione home and when they arrived, she asked him to get her a sandwich while she had a shower. Harry walked into the kitchen and Hermione went towards the stairs. She looked into the library and stopped. She walked into the room and slowly stretched her hand out towards the light. She gasped when she saw the destruction. The room was completely in disarray. The wall where the arch stood had a huge black mark on it that showed the intensity of the spell he used. The timber slivers were sprayed around the entire room, it was like a toothpick factory had exploded. She heard him approach and she turned around to look at him.

"Harry, you didn't need to do this, we would have worked through it together." Hermione said softly and gently and it just reminded him how she deserved so much better than him.

"No Mione, I needed to live my life and stop living a fantasy. You and our daughter are my life, you deserve more than me, so much more than me and I hope you can find it in your heart to settle for someone who is so broken." Hermione walked over to him and held onto him.

"I am not settling for anything, I love you Harry Potter, I always have and I won't live my life without you any more." Harry smiled and he hugged her again. He then turned the light off and walked out of the room that had caused them both so much pain.

Hermione was quite happy to have a quiet wedding but Harry insisted on having a proper wedding, so they settled on having the baby first and then doing a nice wedding with their daughter. The time passed by quickly as Harry and Hermione were setting up their home for a baby. The months passed by and before they knew it, Hermione was back at St Mungo's giving birth to their daughter.

The room was full of pink and white roses, flowers and balloons, most of them from daddy.

Harry and Hermione had just said goodbye to the last visitors and they both sighed in relief.

"Man what a day, you must be so tired sweetheart?" Harry brushed the hair out of her face.

"No I'm fine Harry, you're staying tonight aren't you?"

"Yes of course I am, but I think we need to discuss what this beautiful little girls name will be?" Harry was nursing his daughter and Hermione smiled.

"Well I thought Lilyanne, that takes care of both our mum's what do you think?" Harry looked at her and his face lit up. He looked at her and said the name and she oohed and arghhed at him, he smiled.

"Harry, when I had the accident, I remember dreaming about your mum, dad and Sirius. I didn't want to bring it up before now but I feel that she was looking after me. She told me she loved me Harry, a woman I never knew told me she loved me and I felt it, it warmed my whole body." Harry smiled and wiped the tears away from his fiancé's face and leant forward to kiss her forehead.

"I know Mione, she has never left us sweetheart, none of them have." Harry hugged both his girls again.

"Lilyanne Potter it is!" Hermione smiled and felt such relief. It had been hard in those first few months, but when she had the accident and was pregnant, Harry destroyed the arch himself. She came to realise that this was exactly what he needed. He had to get to a point where he had to choose, his life or his fantasy, he understood that he couldn't have both. It wasn't smooth sailing, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

Professor Dumbledore approached Harry and offered him a job at Hogwarts, apparently Madame Hooch had decided to retire, so he took up the post of Quidditch and flight instructor. He absolutely loved his job and it made it easier that Professor Dumbledore allowed Harry to live at home still.

Ginny had her baby a week earlier, a little boy named Marcus and Ron finally got engaged to Luna Lovegood. It was at the time of the accident that she went to his side and supported him when no one else could. She asked him to be civilised to Harry as he was going through a rough time. It didn't take long for love to blossom and it was amazing how much of a wonderful couple they made.

"Harry, are you happy?" He knew what she meant and he hated that he put that doubt into her.

"Hermione I have never looked back sweetheart. I know you worry but you don't need to, I have never been happier in my life as I am now with you and Lilyanne." Hermione smiled and cuddled into him.

Ginny and Neville asked them to be Marcus' Godparents and they agreed whole heartedly. The only stipulation Hermione had, was that they be married before the Christening as she wanted to use her married name. So they planned a wedding and a christening for the same day.

It was beautiful.

Hermione wore a long white dress that belonged to her mother and they bought a beautiful long gown for Lilyanne to wear. Harry wore his dress robes and Professor Dumbledore performed the service. As soon as they married, they signed the papers and then Ginny and Neville stepped up with Marcus to hand him over to his Godparents. The service was beautiful.

Hermione thought about those days so long ago, but she moved on with her life but more importantly, Harry did. He had his life and he wouldn't trade it for anything, he still missed his parents and Sirius, but he knew they were watching over him and especially his little family and he would see them again one day.

_That's it my faithful readers, I hope you enjoyed it._

_Sirius xoxo_


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